IT'S BETTER TO SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY THEN SAY NOTHING AT ALL
by vauseschapman
Summary: This takes off after the ending of season one where Piper is hammering Tiffany Pennsatucky's face with her hands.
1. DEMONS TO FIGHT

**ALEX VAUSE** and **PIPER CHAPMAN** fan-fiction

with the mentions of **NICKY, TAYSTEE, PENNSATUCKY, MR. HEALY, RED, LARRY, MENDEZ, CAPUTO, BIG BOO, POUSSEY, BLACK CINDY, CRAZY EYES, BENNETT, WATSON, LEANNE, SOPHIA, POLLY, FISCHER, LUSCHEK, CAL** and many more.

This takes off after the ending of season one where Alex is hammering Tiffany Pennsatucky's face with her hands.

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**PIPER'S POV;**

It was suddenly black, her hands throbbed along with her head, her body laid sprawled out on a cold wet ground, she couldn't open her eyes, but suddenly she heard the alarms go off, there was loud crackling around her, she finally heard words forming, she noticed the voice of Officer Mendez, or Pornstache as people refer to, "Inmates down, I repeat inmates down, sector 001 off limits medics need ASAP. There was another voice, Officer Fischer, the one she liked more then all, asides from Bennett, she was nice, soft and giving when you knew what to say or how to act, "She's got a pulse, but we need to act fast." the she felt a hand at her neck, she wanted to jerk her body away, she didn't know who was above her, it was all dark, still cold and her body was aching from head to toe. "Chapman's got a pulse but's it's slowing." there was a beep Fischer's voice came to play "We need medics now or we'll loose them both." more crunching and yelling going on around her but she was lump, cold, alone but yet she was aware of people around her, suddenly there was pressure on her wrist and abdomen and a painful groan escaped her lips, "Chapman don't move but you have to wake up, open your eyes, stay with us Chapman." it was a soft voice, almost caring but who would care about a pathetic inmate? "Bennett get her away and put more pressure."

There was suddenly sirens going off and the familiar sound of an ambulance pulling closer and closer but the difference in this scenario was that she couldn't see anything. She couldn't look around or ask what was going on. The sirens doubled, was there two of them? What the hell was going on. Piper didn't have a clue, she was cold, she was throbbing and wanting to wake up, screaming in her head to just speak but nothing. There was nothing. Suddenly she felt her body being lifted, "Stab wound to the abdomen, large gap on her right wrist, fingers bloody swollen and wounded." it was Bennett's voice once again, "Thank you son, we'll take her from here." a different, raspy, unusually and never heard before voice sank into her mind. She was rolling now, she knew it because she'd been on a stretcher before and it felt the same. Drops of water splashed against her face, thunder sounded out.

Sticking and prodding was pressured against her arms, her shirt was being lifted and taken off but she was limp, she was broken, she was vulnerable, was she dead? Was this death? Piper felt like she was crying, she felt as if she was on the verge of becoming death. "We need doctors waiting at doors, two inmates coming in fast with major arteries busted." it was that raspy voice, "Rodger that." was another whisky voice that seemed to be coming from a radio of some sort, why couldn't she open her eyes? Why was it so dark? Why was she hurting? Why was she so cold?

**ALEX'S POV;**

"You're a little shit Nichols." Alex sneered at the shorter girl as they walked the hallway to the Christmas Pageant, Nicky had just given Alex her Christmas present that Alex definitely enjoyed more then she should have. There was a loud alarm near there head and they looked up before a cop rushed passed them instantly knocking Nicky off her feet, "Inmates down." came a voice loud and demanding behind them. They had managed to be right outside where the pageant had been held and dropped to the ground in a laying position. They could see inside the doors, officers had their guns pulled even Caputo which was odd because he was never one to guard much. Alex felt herself look at Nicky both of their eyes glistened with fear. Officers stood guard while others ran full force out the door to a restricted zone down the hall. A lump formed in her throat, the two girls were dragged into the auditorium and laid in the back of the room. "No moving, no talking, no breathing!" Alex heard Caputo and Healy yell out together, one on one side of the room the other on the opposite. She managed to see the stage, it was Taystee who was looking around "Where's bitch lovin' Jesus at?" she hollered out and Poussey looked out into the crowed towards a sit that was empty "Oh fuck." Taystee was worked to shut up before she was taken to SHU and she hushed quietly.

The radio buzzed in on a few officers and everyone heard, "Inmates down immediate assistance." Alex felt herself choke as her eyes locked with Poussey and the small black girl mouthed "Piper." at Alex, Nicky had seen and cautiously reached for Alex's hand. Rage, Sadness, Panic rang through her body as more officers ran out, the sound of sirens rang through the quiet yet filled room. Everyone glanced around though no one dared to make eye contact. Though Alex caught a glimpse of Leanne who was smirking her way along with her other Bible Thumpers. Alex's body flushed, she was empty.

The sirens were gone and cops filed back inside, Fischer, Bennett, Mendez and O'Neil soaked in blood. Alex felt as if she was going to vomit. Once all officers cleared the hall each sector of dorms was dismissed but watched as they were guided back to their rooms and forced to their cubes or their rooms. Alex fell to her bed, ghost like. She could see Red and Nicky chatting over a wall across the way.

"Piper's no where to be found neither is Pennsatusky. Lots of blood came back on four guards." Nicky's voice rang her ears across the room of cubicles. Alex's eyes settled on the door as the 'Ghetto' crew filed along the hall to their sector, Taystee, Poussey and Black Cindy looking sheep and terrified. Her heart sank and she doubled over and puked into her trashcan. Nicky rushed over along with Bell, the guard on duty. "I've got her, she's just got a bug." she assured the guard who eye'd them but walked back to the bubbled office. "Is she dead?" Alex muttered through pale lips as she wiped her mouth with the back of her arm. "No, Piper's a tough ass bitch, though Pennsatusky is a physco, I'm sure she's okay." Nicky assured her though it didn't make her feel better at all. Last count was made and everyone was order to an early bed, moans and groans accrued but no one fought. All guards were on fire, angry and harder.

**PIPER'S POV**

A week as passed, though she didn't realize it, her body twitched as she awoke. A guard stood right outside her door, she moved her arms, one was heavy, the other was chained and she blinked open her eyes more to realize she was in an hospital, a scent that so distinctively told her so. "Chapman, you're awake, let me get a doctor." she was lost, it wasn't a dream? The Tiffany ordeal was real? Panic over ran her body and she began to shake violently. The nurses ran in and held her down while the doctor pierced her arm with a temporary stabilizer to keep her away yet calm. "Do you remember anything. Piper nodded in fear, there was no more tears to cry, no more pain to yell out. She was like a ghost, she was empty and shattered and scared, nothing could touch her without breaking her. "Alright, well, we're keeping you a few more days until your wounds are healed and we know you're stable. Piper didn't say a word, a sympathetic look was given to her and then everyone disappeared with a blink of her eye before Caputo was in front of her bed.

"Chapman, we need to talk about this and we can not wait until you're back at Lenchfield. Pennsnatuky is still in and out of surgery even after a week." It hit her, a week, she was gone for a week, not conscious, not sane, she was gone, an entire week. Caputo watched her with wary eyes before continuing his words. "We watched the video, Healy is being dealt with but you on the other hand have been sentenced to an extra two years at Lenchfield for over protection." it was then all the vivid images came to play and she shut her eyes. "Your first three months back are to be spent in SHU for your protection and other inmates protection as well as for you to get better." Piper fought to object but nothing came out, she was still limp, numb practically. "Glad we had a good conversation, Chapman." Caputo walked out and spoke in a whisper to the guard outside the door, she heard a look from the tall man before her pulled the door shut. Her eyelids fell shut and she felt tears pour down her cheeks as she sobbed through the lonely room that only echoed against her sobs and the shattered beeping from her monitors. Why? It was all Piper could ask.

**ALEX'S POV**

"We aren't fucking giving away her shit, she's not dead." Alex stated with a uneven disgusted voice. "Alex come on, no one has said a word, Mendez gives us sympathetic looks and even fucking Bible Thumpers know it's true. Pennsatucky is back and she isn't, it's obvious. That Jesus Bitch was in Physc and came back and Piper is still gone." Alex wanted to protest, she did but she couldn't, she didn't want to face the fact Piper was gone and that the last thing she said "Was get the fuck out." to her. No one saw the tears in her eyes as she picked up Piper's pillow, her jacket and a journal that held content no one else would ever need to look at. Photographs, letters, no one protested either, simply watched Alex's movements with heartfelt looks. The Ghetto's had welcomed all the suburbs into their corner to go through Piper's things, Taystee snagged up some books along with Piper's blanket, Alex looked at her and it almost scared Taystee into just throwing the fabric at her but Alex shook her head as a tear fell simply down her cheek not even bothering to wipe it away. Little Boo was jumping on her legs but Big Boo pulled her back, "take care of that, all of this and if any of you ruin her shit, I'll turn you into shit." Nicky's teeth sunk into her lip and Red placed a hand on the brunette's shoulder, "Don't chu worry, we'll take care of it all." Red eye'd everyone and nods filled the room.

Alex made her way back to the suburbs and she found her place on her bed, she clenched the memory filled book to her chest and held Piper's pillow to her face as a sob screeched against her throat. "I'll do whatever it takes to find information and find what I can tell you." the voice was low and extremely tender, she peeked through her eyes though her glasses went on, she squinted and formed a small figure, Fischer. Alex just fell back into bed as sobs echoed, no one bother her, though everyone watched her over the course of the night, she couldn't be gone. Despite the constant reminder of her presence not around, no one wanted to believe it. No news, no comments nothing were spoken around Alex, she felt sick all the time, as if it was her fault, though Red, Nicky, Black Cindy, Sophia, Taystee and everyone else made sure she knew it wasn't, there was still guilt in her stomach. How can she live in a world without Piper Chapman?

**THREE MONTHS LATER**;

Screams were loud as she heard the door slamming open, "We don't have all day Chapman unless you want to miss the bus you get your ass up and get out." Mendez's voice filled the air, it'd been forever since she heard a actually familiar voice. Then again she couldn't recall time. SHU was her death. She didn't even know if she was truly alive until Mendez was pulling her abruptly to her feet, "Look I'm going to help you but don't say a damn word." Piper didn't budge at his vinous threat. She was walked to the van thrown in. Morello looked at her but Piper glanced away. "We though you were dead, no one told us anything." Piper was hardly listening, she couldn't focus, she had blocked out all sounds and words inside of SHU not wanting to listen to the voices she heard or the terrorizing screams that filled the entire sector. Piper simply stared at her lap lifelessly. Morello turned and started the car, "I'm glad you're here and coming back." the soft voice sparked in Piper's mind but there wasn't anything she said. She hadn't spoken for over two months and a half. After the semi court for Pennsatucky she shut everything out. She was a robot with her switch off.

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This is my first ever fan-fiction so please be brutally honest with me. Tell me what you think and if I should continue.


	2. THE FIRST TIME I EVER SAW YOUR FACE

I wanted to thank you all for the reviews, your advice and critiques help a lot. Here's part two, I'll try and slow it down a bit and play a lot more out.

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PIPER'S POV

The ride was short but long at the same time, her body rattled along with the van as it hit pebbles and dents in the road, her eyes never left her lap. The sun caused her eyes to burn red and puff up, not having been in the sun her eyes weren't use to such a bright hot light. The car was at a halt and she hadn't noticed Morello out of the van until she felt wind at her side, she was being tugged out of the van, she was like a rag doll but on full alert. Piper practically hissed when she felt an hand around her arm. "Sorry, you weren't moving and if we don't get going, we'll be late and you won't get a bunk or lunch." Morello said in her defense. Piper tightened her jacket around her body, it was a new one, seeing as the last one she had was stained with thick blood all around it.

Piper's face was thinner, bolder and shaped differently. Her hip bones stuck out against the jacket and she could feel her ribs beneath her shirt, for the past three months she'd been working out, sleeping and repeating, if she had anything to eat, she vomited it up after five minutes of having it in her stomach. Her arms bulked out it an form of a new muscle. Her legs were thin but muscular. The blonde locks on her hair tangled and greasy as they fell longer against her body. This wasn't the Piper everyone saw three months ago. As they walked the yard to the door no inmates were around. They were all filing into the dining hall which meant no one would have seen her, the relief was lifted off her chest. Morello dropped her off at Caputo's office.

The blonde let her fist ring against the wooden door. "Come in." she heard the husked voice, pushing open the door she walked in and sat in the chair across from his desk. "Glad to see you back Chapman, you good?" he asked her as he dropped his pen to his desk and sat back looking at her. She simply lifted her shoulders in a small pathetic and nothing shrug. "Don't have a voice?" he said with a slight attitude to his own voice. Piper could feel herself growing angry but she managed to lick her lips and clear her throat of nothing. "I'm fine." she husked out in a voice she'd never heard from herself. The raspy thick and rough tone that had come to her after a time of no talking. "Good. You've already been assigned a bunk seeing as Pennsatucky..." the one word left Piper's jaw to clench and here heart to sink to her stomach feeling as if she'd vomit the empty pit in her abdomen. "You're going back to the Ghetto and you're going to be in the bunk with Poussey." She didn't mind, the Ghetto felt like home and if it wasn't for her new soon-to-be bunk mate she'd most likely be dead.

"Good, get out of here, no more funny business and get some food before I have to call another funeral." Piper simply rolled her eyes and stood up. "Whatever." she managed to breath out under her breath and even though Caputo heard he allowed it to slide knowing this wasn't the Piper and she only needed time to get back to where she needed to be. Piper was escorted to the Ghetto by Bennett who never once looked at her or said a thing just simply walked. Flashbacks or memory calls played through her mind and she remembered how it was Bennett's voice telling her to wake up. She had no tears left but she knew that if it was there she would have been crying her heart out. "This is we're you'll be staying, everyone's at dinner there's thirty minutes left." he said and turned on his heels to walk away. "Thank you." the raspy and uneven voice spoke up, Bennett stopped and looked over his shoulder, "Glad you're here, Chapman." He whispered so the empty room couldn't hear. She nodded and simply walked over to her bed.

Despite having slept so much while in SHU the blonde slim girl fell to her bed and curled into the thin sheet and simply passed out. Her breathes heavy as if she was gasping for air but she was merely taking in the fresher broader air that was now filling her lungs.

ALEX (EVERYONE)'S POV;

Morello walked into the dinner hall quickly everyone taking glances at her as she did, she seemed to be in a rush and no one new why, there must be a different and unwary inmate seeing as it was the day for new inmates. She was quick to go through the small line and made her way over to the suburbs table sitting next to Nicky and Yoga Jones as quick as she could, "what's up your ass today?" Nicky spoke out with a grin along with everyone else. Big Boo slipped Little Boo a small piece of corn bread and glanced over at Alex who was giving her a 'what the hell' kind of look, "What Little Boo's gotta have a treat too." she said with a small shrug causing Alex to give a small laugh. "Shut up." Morello spoke out and everyone snapped their heads back in a shocking expression. They all new Morello was tough but never expected the girl to be so firm and harsh with them for doing nothing wrong. "Piper's alive and she's here, now. She's different." the words slipped so quickly from her lips hardly anyone had time to register. Alex's spork dropped to her plate and the table grew extremely quiet.

"Wh.." Nicky looked from Alex to Morello, "Where is she at?" Nicky glanced around the cafeteria, first at Pennsatucky who's face was still slightly bandaged up, then to the Ghetto's table where everyone was laughing at something Black Cindy said, then to the rest where everyone was acting normal, nothing out of the ordinary so surely Piper wasn't in the room. "I lost her after we got to Caputo's office but she's got a bunk in Ghetto against because she's not allowed anywhere in the same area as Dodgett." Morello spoke out and suddenly Big Boo didn't feel so hungry. Alex was the first to speak up after the comment. "She's alive?" it was all she could manage to get out. They were all left to think she was dead for the past three or so months and now it was like it was happening all over again. Was Morello seeing things? "Are you sure it wasn't someone who looked just like her?" Sister Ingalls spoke up and it made Alex look over at her, wait was she a mind reader now? Morello shook her head, "It was Piper, she was different though, it may look like Piper but she's definitely changed." Morello said with a hint of sadness towards her voice.

Nicky took a bite of her food, she was the only one eating which left her with odd uneven stares, "SHU changes ya'." was all she had to say, Big Boo allowed her boot to come in harsh contact with Nicky's leg, the smaller bushy haired girl let out a shriek earning looks from all around the cafeteria. "It's true." she mumbled and stuffed her mouth full of food with a shrug. Alex simply stood up and took her tray with her, dumping it and leaving it where it needed to be. Alex walked out of the loud room though the suburbs table allowed their eyes to follow. The brunette made a quick V-Line to the bathroom and collapsed against the sink as she breathed heavily. Piper was back, Piper was alive, Piper was here.

PIPER'S POV;

Shifted slowly in her bed, there was soft mumbles around her and she could feel her body having holes be burn into it. Her puffy eyes blinked slightly, "She's waking up." it was a familiar voice but who's? Piper grumbled slightly as she managed to flutter her eyes open, she squinted at the brightness, she took in a deep breath and softly pushed herself into a sitting position. She managed to finally see something and it wasn't just her bunk mate, it was suburbs and Ghetto joining together to fill the cramped space. Blood boiled in Piper's body as she managed to look around. "Holy shit, it's Chapman, she's fucking alive." another familiar voice filled her ears, "Duh you dip shit Morello told us that already." then there was a bark, Big Boo had just spoke, it had to have been. She glanced over to Nicky and Big Boo battling with their eyes, must have been Nicky's comment Big Boo snarked at. Taystee, Black Cindy and Poussey were the first to make their way up to her, Piper's jaw clenched and they didn't step closer. "It's alright there white girl." Taystee spat out. "We ain't gonna kill ya'." she spoke up earning an elbow to the side from Black Cindy who rolled her eyes. Piper simply looked at her lap closing her eyes.

Everyone shared glances and worried looks until the alarm went off for count. Inamtes scurried off and Poussey was the only one left in the small confinement of the bunk. "Come on Chapman, we have to get to count." the voice was tender and softened Piper's emotions. She stumbled to her feet carefully and out to the larger opening. She stood against the wall her eyes closed. Click. Click. Their bunk was counted and she could still feel the eyes burning against her body. "Lights out early tonight. Caputo's orders." Loud and horrid groans filled the air but Piper didn't mind. The red light flickered off and she shifted back into her bunk and on her bed. Poussey sat on the bed across the small bunk glancing at her in an upright position against the wall. "You have no idea how glad I am you ain't dead, Chapman." the words hit her and she managed to look fully at Poussey, "I wish I was." it was all Piper said before turning over and facing the brick wall closing her eyes. Poussey was left shocked and scared. Would she admit that out loud? Hell no but she was terrified, this wasn't the Piper she'd come to enjoy being around but maybe that Piper would come back. When you come out of SHU you're different but sometimes people manage to get their sanity back and Poussey just prayed that Piper grabbed her and came back to them.

THE NEXT MORNING;

Piper woke up without a word or sound. Glancing around the entire Ghetto she made she didn't awake anyone as she made her way around the bunk snagging up her towel and toiletries. Piper walked toe to heel in an moderate speed towards the showers, before she knew it she was there. The dim lights along the hall showing her where to go. She felt Fischer follower to make sure that she arrived safely and without troubles. As Piper entered the showers there was only one other soul there that early. Crazy Eyes or Suzanne as the woman preferred to be called. Piper nodded her head slightly earning a small hard look from the girl before she turned back to her cleaning. Piper shredded her clothes and set them with her towel on the stall wall. She turned the water on and was thankful for the small amount of warm water that flaked against her body in a toning manner. Piper practically moaned at the warm sensation rolling through her body. It was the voice that followed that caused her to snap her head towards the opening, her fist clenched and arms covering at her not so perfect body. Her jaw tight and her eyes filled with pain and anger. The person who caught her eye was what changed things. Piper snapped the curtain back, "Fuck off." she grumbled in her shaking broken voice turning to put her face back beneath the water.

ALEX'S POV;

Alex ended up back in her bunk in the suburbs after leaving the lunch table abruptly. She collapsed in her bed yanking the pillow and jacket from beneath her bed in a swift movement. She snugged them against her chest as tears fought against her glasses. She could feel anger, relief and confusion fill her mind. How could no one simply tell them that she was alive? How could they leave them to think Piper was dead this entire time knowing it was hurting everyone in different ways. Leaving Alex to work with the girl who had _killed_ Piper in the laundry room. Alex had fucked around with Nicky and a few other hot chicks in the Chapel to remember her first time with Piper after ten years of not seeing each other. She would fight to remember, to feel, to see that body beneath her once again. She'd swore herself to never love again. She could bare the thought of another broken heart.

The brunette stood in line for count with her glasses pulled to her head, she felt Red and Nicky staring at her worried and confused as to what her exact reactions were. The could no longer read the emotions that toyed in Alex like they could before this all went down. But now Alex was empty she was bottomed out from all the shock she had within. That night she didn't bother reading all she did was hug the pillow that still smelt of the Piper she once held in her arms as her little spoon. The Piper she had loved so much but hated at the same time. The Piper who tore her heart out and crumbled it repeatedly. She inhaled deeply before allowing her body to slump against the harshly uncomfortable bed slipping into an awkward slumber.

THE NEXT MORNING;

Sweat was forming against her neck and forehead as she jerked her body. She was awoken when the site of Piper's lifeless body came to her eyes. No one had seen her since she left the Christmas Pageant. No one knew what had happened with Pennsatucky no one asides from Healy and Caputo and the head Judge. Healy was on a overdue suspension of no pay and most likely no return. Everyone was thankful especially his lesbian 'fans'. Alex took in shaking breathes as she threw her feet over the edge of the bed breathing heavily but trying her hardest to keep quiet afraid of waking the others and hearing a hit on herself. Alex pushed the pillow and jacket beneath her bed once against. Standing up she pulled her glasses on and grabbed her toiletries and towel. Red was up, watching Alex with tender and careful eyes, "You be careful and don't do anything stupid." she spoke in a hum to Alex as she walked passed Red's bunk. Alex nodded her promise.

The halls were quiet though the electric mob filled all halls with a silently loud hum. She made her way to the showers. There was only one other person in their and to her mind she was expecting it to be Piper but someone she knew could help get off and release her from her extreme stress. As she walked closer to the occupied shower, she stripped herself and set her glasses atop of her clothing that settled on the bench across from the stall. The small amount of air swiped across her body causing her to hum in the air. Alex pulled open the curtain and to her shocking mind as she noticed the slim broken frame in front of her. The parts of Piper's body that weren't covered pulling Alex's stomach to her throat. "Piper. what the..." she was about to continue her sentence when the curtain was slammed in her face and she trotted backwards. The words filled her mind and she gasped light. It was half of the words she'd spoken to Piper right before she'd left and never came back. Alex shook her head and felt as if she was about to empty her stomach right there.

Stumbling along the fungus filled floor she found the last stall in the showers and slipped in turning the water on full force. She leaned against the wall as her mind replayed the images it took of Piper's not so welcoming body over and over again. How could this have happened? How was Pennsatucky back looking fine asides from her face of course and Piper looked like death warmed over. Alex shook her head but snapped from her thoughts as shadows caught her attention. She watched an slumped but built and skinny Piper walk out of the bathroom not looking at her or making a sound. Alex could feel her heart sink more and more. She still hated the blonde, beyond words but she wanted nothing more then to pull the girl into her arms and shield her from the pain but she couldn't. She couldn't allow herself to fall again just to be broken but this site of Piper left her feeling as if she had to protect the blonde from any and every little thing.


	3. LOSING MY SANITY

The Next Two Stories Are Flashback Stories.

I read the reviews and had some thinking done and noticed i should have gone over more about what happened while Piper was in SHU so this one will be about her in SHU and the next chapter will be about Alex's 'flashback' while Piper was in SHU. These won't be long or week by week or play by play and i apologize, i honestly don't have much on SHU and going into details about trials is extremely difficult. Bare with me, things will get way better I promise.

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PIPER'S POV;

Her body twisted on the harshly cold bed, she groaned in pain as her abdomen flared in pain. A single tear rolled down her cheek, it had only been two week since getting out of the hospital, the wound on her abdomen was still healing and it felt to Piper as if it'd never fully heal. Her breath hitched as she slid her feet over the edge of the bed, her body hunched over as her arms wrapped weakly and securely around her body, the rough bandage on her right hand caught against her uniform an annoying grimace passed her throat. Loud screams echoed her head, she felt her body lip tremble as she attempted to block out the noises. "Focus on Polly, Finn, Mom, Dad anyone." she whispered to herself as she attempted to curl her body into a shell. The pain ripped through her body causing her to jolt up into a sitting position.

Piper was caught off guard at the sound of the door being slammed open, her neck craned as she looked at the door, Caputo and Figueroa stood, she felt a rush of coldness through her body as she slowly stood up, her good hand cupped at the wound that rested right above her left hipbone. A breath caught in her throat as they began to speak, "Your court case was moved to today, Dodgett is ready to get it over with." Piper's face flushed to a ghostly white as she inhaled sharply. "Okay." she spoke in a shaky tone. "Look, Chapman you need to get together or you'll be torn apart in there." Figueroa warned, why was she actually being nice? Piper nodded cheaply as she walked with them through the echoing halls of SHU. She kept her head down as she followed behind Figueroa with Caputo on her heels. She fought to ignore the loud banging on the doors or the screams that filled the air. As they finally exited the building a gust of fresh air hit Piper and she inhaled deeply, the sun was bright causing her eyes to narrow. Caputo's hand formed around her arm guiding her through the brightness of the day.

END OF TRIAL;

Piper sat with her hand cupping her body and her head narrowed at the judge who sat firm behind his desk, she could feel Pennsatucky's glare every few seconds. Piper didn't dare to look back afraid of what her outburst had done to the woman who sat next to her. "With no visual aid or witnesses we cannot force anyone to max however, Dodgett you'll be spending two months in Max and then you'll go back to main. Chapman you'll be spending three months in SHU.." Piper head the other girl attempt to object but was shortly cut off. "If you speak I'll keep you in Max until I say you come out." there was a silence over the room for a brief moment. "Chapman you will spend your time healing and thinking about what the hell you did to Dodgett's face. Dodgett you will be inclined to medication and treatment." Piper thought to herself how good that sounded, maybe the chick wound't be psycho anymore. "As for you Healy," Piper's head snapped up at the name only to look at the newest addition to the room. "You will be on an overly long hiatus ." he stung, Healy wanted to protest but just left without another word. Piper's inner body sang with joy.

MONTH AND A HALF LATER;

The noises were no longer there. Piper learned to block everything out, the screams, the tormenting sounds, the thuds, the only thing she listened to was that familiar yet distant raspy voice that echo from the vent on her wall. Each day she had a routine, wake up, work out the best of her ability until she could handle the pain in her abdomen, not so much eat, if she did eat then vomit from the horrid food they served, talk to her neighbor or voice she continued to hear then sleep. It had become her life really. The days turned into nights, her nights turned into days, her days weren't nights and nights weren't days. SHU conflicted her mind and she felt like she was losing all of her sanity but she was doing everything she could just to pull through.

She sat with her back against the cold hard wall near the vent, she huffed deeply after throwing up what she didn't have in her stomach. "Just don't think about the things inside the food, picture it as something from home." she heard the raspy voice that had been attempting to help her through her days and meals. "Thanks but that doesn't really help it still tastes like hell." she said and a small chuckle ripped into the vent causing her to weakly smile. Piper pulled her shirt up slowly to look down at the now healed wound, it was still tender and puffy but was closed together. The scar was never going to heal. It wasn't huge but the size was still unbearably noticeable. She had grown self conscious. Her ribs were slightly shown as her hipbones prodded at her skin. barely. Her cheeks were almost hallow and her skin lacked it's familiar shine. She was no longer feeling human more so an alien these days. Who knew what she was going to feel or even look like when her time was up.

TWO MONTHS AND A HALF LATER;

Piper hand no longer needed it's wrap, the mark still screamed at her every time she looked at her wrist though. White, shiny and bold, it always took her back to the night that her and Pennsatucky nearly killed each other. Lack of full sleep now sheltered her body, nightmares had consumed her nights leaving her to be awoken by her own screams and cries. She was one of the others now, she was one causing the loud echos throughout SHU. She slept for hours but was awaken by the dreams, she couldnt' stay awake to fight the dreams off.

Piper forced her body to bend in half as she filled her crunch on the floor, "48." she grumbled through heavy breathes. Her body relaxed back against the floor before she folded her body once more into a crunch "49." she said breathlessly as she felt her body tent with sweat and she felt shots of pain through her body. After 50 not so good push ups and sit ups the crunches wanted to kill her. "50" she whimpered out as she fell against the hard floor, her arms rested atop of her body. "Meal, Chapman." the disgusting and hard voice said as he opened the long skinny frame on the door.

Obviously she hadn't moved quick enough because before she could get up the food was slung to the floor and tossed thought her bunk. Piper wanted to hell and scream at the man but she knew it'd just give her more time in the area and she wanted the opposite of that. She lost count of time and didn't know how much longer she had but she knew it was coming and to risk all she'd been through was stupid and she knew it.

Piper scoffed as she picked up the terrible food that scattered through the room. She tossed it in the toilet and flushed it, she didn't exactly care if the system backed up anymore, she wasn't going to eat the food and if she didn't and it was still on her tray when the ran back to get everything they'd force it down her throat. The voice continued to tell her to flush it and after three weeks she'd follow the order and learned it was simply gone after a few moments. She had finally lost sanity. She was talking to a faceless voice and was holding conversations back and forth with the empty room.

"It's been awhile since we talked about when you'll get out." it's raspy nice almost sounded soft and cautious. Piper leaned her head against the wall as she felt her body relax. "I'm not getting back with Larry, in fact I've decided to take him off my list and phone list." she spoke tenderly. "I'll leave Alex to peace just like she wants." she no longer had tears in her sockets but she swore she could feel her eyes glisten with water she forced her eyes closed as she sucked in a deep breath. "So you'll do all of your time alone?" it was almost worried now, scared and fear for the girl. She shrugged despite the fact this person or voice couldn't see. "I'll have my Ghetto family...-" she wanted to laugh but couldn't, she just simply let a small shaped smile through her lips. Her own voice was unrecognizable, it was taunt and scratchy. "I'll have Polly and mom and dad and Cal." she said tenderly as she exhaled her last bit a breath before slumping down.

Piper hadn't given it much though really. The fact she wasn't going to have Larry or Alex frightened her to know ends but she couldn't go back to Larry, she no longer loved him, maybe she loved him but she wasn't in love with him anymore and Alex, the girl broke her, the girl left her to shame, despite the fact the girl was the love of Piper's life she knew she needed to shine away and just be herself and give the girl what she wanted and that was no more Piper.

"Well good for you then." the voice was back to it's normally raspyiness. "I'm going to get some sleep, goodnight." that was the conversation. Piper new not to speak back once they said goodbye because she'd never get an answer, she'd be literally talking to herself and she needed the last bit of sanity she had to stay. Piper dragged her body to the pathetic excuse of a bed and fell back against the harsh mattress and pillow. Piper curled on her side as she wrapped her arms around her hallow skeleton body. She ghosted her fingers along her ribs that fixed right beneath her uniform. The bags under her eyes grew heavier causing her to crash her eyelids together in tight form. She knew once she looked into a mirror she'd not recognize herself, she would avoid that at all cause.

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Like I said bare with me. I'm so sorry but once I get back to the reality timeline it'll be back to more depth and way better, pinky promise. Alex's POV flashback will be up soon.


	4. HERE WITHOUT YOU

Fig-Aruna→ One piece of advice I'd give is try to pay attention to certain details so that they make sense in the plot. For example, having Piper starve/flush food down the toilet is good for angst, but it doesn't really follow that she'd have made any muscle gains at all. Right?

Actually it's quite possible. I have a friend who's actually got a eating disorder but he's managed to be like the strongest guy in school despite the fact you could cut yourself on some of his bones. I know it's crazy and you may not believe it but I could definitely see Piper ending up like him. It actually makes him kind of wary, he's got some mood problems because of his lack of food and with his help I'm actually writing these stories for Piper and he helps me with research of it.

Also I would like to apologize for not updating a lot of things have gone down in my family and I've had a bit of a time finding my muse but fear not I'm here. This one won't be as long because I'm kind of iffy so again just bare with me please. :(

* * *

**ALEX'S POV**;

**ONE MONTH AFTER PIPER'S OFF TO SHU**;

Not one single damn word had been said to her or anyone for that matter. Not one single thing, not that she was okay not that she was going to be coming back, hell she even put Larry on her call list and had talked to him to only find out that he and Piper were over officially and he'd heard nothing from anyone and he'd known that Polly was concerned seeing as she wasn't allowed information, no one was, Piper had told Caputo to not give information out to anyone until she was face to face with them. Alex's mind was hay-wire. She was finally coming to an conclusion that Piper was really gone, maybe she was never coming back and that she'd never be able to actually tell her that she was the love of her life. Alex gripped onto the pillow that was clenched between her shaking arms. She inhaled the faint scent that was buried within the fabric of the pillow case. Fischer knew the inmate wasn't allowed to have two pillows but with one look at the girl who held tightly to the frame she had no heart to take it away. Alex fell frustrated, she'd been hardly keeping sane and her act of "I'm fine" wasn't fooling anyone though she managed to slip from any further questions about her emotions.

"Let's go Vause, don't want cold breakfast." the voice was familiar. All to familiar for the past month she'd spent trying to get Piper's out of her head. Alex sat up, she slipped down onto the hard floor and knelt facing her bed before forcing the pillow beneath the bed, "hurry your slow ass up before I leave you to a doom of horrid breakfast." Alex rolled her eyes before pushing up and grabbing her glasses, she slid them onto her face and walked out of her bunk to stand next to Nicky, "Whatever Nichols, you know you don't wanna leave me, you're afraid I'll find a better fuck." she attempted to tease, Nicky placed a firm smack to Alex's ass as she walked by, the glare Alex gave only caused a smirk to appear on Nicky's lips. "You know you can't find anyone better then me." she admitted before walking out of the suburbs and towards the cafeteria where a small line was already forming. Big Boo and Little Boo stood alongside Yoga Jones, Watson and Sister chatting about God knows what. The saultered towards the line and stood awaiting the final open for morning meal. Alex didn't want to eat but she knew if she didn't Red would find her and shove it down her throat personally, Alex had come to find out that it was better to eat with her own hands then Red's hands.

**TWO MONTHS AFTER**;

Alex was pulled from a slumber when her body was shaken violently, she shot open her eyes to see Big Boo was shaking her with Morello , Nichols and Red standing over her, she shot up "What the hell is going on?" she managed to russel out into a small whisper seeing as most of the suburbs was still in a slumber, she had wished she was still snoozing along side her fellow bunk mates but nope she was being waken up for who knows what. "Pennsatucky is back." that was all they had to say before she was pushing off her bed but this time it was Red's hands who hell her down, rage was lingering in Alex's eyes as she caught site of Nicky's who was standing near the wall of the exit, she shifted her gaze to the woman who was holding her down "I'll kill her myself." Alex practically whimpered as she looked into dark eyes, "You will do nothing of the sort." she strong voice broke her and she relaxed into her bed, "She killed Piper." Alex whispered trying to keep from gaining too much attention from the guards. "You listen to me child and you listen very closely." Red's hands were now on both sides of her face. "You will not look, breath, talk, stand in the same air as Doggett, you will only be around us and none of us will allow you to do something stupid to keep you in here your entire life or even get you into max, you will not do anything stupid." Red's tone had something hidden in it, like a mother's voice when she was fighting to protect you. Alex managed to form a nod, "Good now you get up and we're all heading down for an early special breakfast." it was Big Boo and Little Boo who were the first up and out of the bunk, Alex managed a weak smile before reaching to grab her glasses; she slid the frame along the bridge of her nose as she inhaled sharply. Pennsatucky was back, Piper was dead and she couldn't do a damn thing about it. Morello gave her a small rub on the back before heading off with Big Boo who was now talking to Little Boo as they walked.

Alex hung back alongside Nicky and Red who seemed to be keeping long looks at Alex, she had folded her arms along her body as she walked, a small yawn manage to escape her lips as they walked the halls but it wasn't until they rounded the corner near Caputo's office did she stop dead in her tracks, Caputo was walking out next to Bennett and there she was Doggett. A sharp breath caught in her throat as eye contact was briefly made with the short psychotic girl. But it was until she felt the arm of Red's pull her along the hall and into the cafeteria, her heart rate was out of her chest as the pounding grew so loud her ears felt like they'd explode. Blood boiled in her face as she took the quickest seat she could when they entered Red's office. This was going to be the longest year and a half her life has ever consumed. The bullying and torment she went through everyday as a kid was not going to be anything compared to what it was going to be like facing Pennsatucky every single day and knowing she'd never see Piper's face again. The thoughts alone left Alex in a state of mind she never thought she'd ever encounter.


End file.
